Sunday night television

Tonight instead of languishing on the Internet like I normally do I lounged on the couch and watched TV. I watched a stunning travelogue about Morocco which is a gorgeous country I'd love to visit.

That was followed by a very interesting documentary about the upcoming 2008 Olympic Games.

Then by chance I stumbled upon a movie which I have watched in part before. The Hours starring Nicole Kidman, Meryl Streep and Julianne Moore. It's a wonderful, wonderful film. It's a disturbing story for me, not uplifting as I saw it reviewed somewhere. Perhaps it's because I have been consumed by similar feelings as these three women.

I've copied this from Parent Previews:

Hounded by feelings of repression and confinement, each woman longs for a freedom she thinks is just beyond her grasp---a freedom from restrictions, family responsibilities and the decisions of the past. Pursuing a path she hopes will bring happiness, each succeeding generation experiences the softening of social mores and the changing of values. But despite the increased lifestyle options, consequences for choices still follow like a silent shadow.

While the transformation of Nicole Kidman’s nose may be getting more attention than it deserves, this film is well edited and beautifully filmed, peeling away the layers of anguish and restlessness that each woman faces....

As the dark minutes of their days (and the film) slowly tick away, these discontented women find the happiness they seek is just as elusive as the point this movie is trying to make.

I feel close to the character played by Julianne Moore. She's a post-war housewife, pregnant with her second child and home all day with her preschool son. One day she leaves her son with a neighbour, drives to a hotel and contemplates overdosing on pills from the medicine cabinet. Don't worry my fellow readers I am not suicidal (!) but I most certainly identify with the desire to walk away from my life, escape the demands of child rearing and homemaking. Unlike her I am unable to smile through the tears of despair, put on a happy face for my husband when he comes home - I have the luck of being a woman in the modern age, like the character played by Meryl Streep. I don't have to pretend my days are not crappy and that I am not exhausted. I'm lucky that way!

Will this discontented woman find the happiness she seeks? I hope so. I don't want to spend my years at home with my children feeling hopeless and disgusted with my self for the chaos around me and my terrible moods.

Today is over, I have no regrets, I will not feel any guilt. I will simply start the day afresh tomorrow.

Good night.

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