Marriage! They say the first year is the hardest

If you are a fan of Twilight, then you'll recognize the title as a line from Breaking Dawn Part One. I am such a geek!

I woke up this morning with songs from Brettan Cox in my head. Another of my Noisetrade finds I am loving. There's not a lot of info on the web about this up and coming young singer but I really hope she makes it. Her songs really come from the heart. One of the themes seems to be marriage and relationships that haven't quite worked out. An interesting choice of material but so poignant for so many people.



I won't lie to you. I often wonder what life would be like if I had not married Mr. Mee a Bee. He's the world's greatest husband and father except when my dark moods descend.

I wish we could transport our entire life back to New Zealand (together). In a 'grass is always greener' fantasy, I imagine all our stresses would disappear.

High speed, super cheap travel between countries would also solve a lot of my problems.

When the sun shines I say "What problems?" !

Last week friends of mine celebrated their fifteenth wedding anniversary. I was one of their bridesmaids so I am especially happy the marriage is still going strong. We all know it's not that easy sometimes.

More and more of my friends are separating, both amicably and not so. It's always such devastating news.

By coincidence a book I picked up over New Year's about 'choice' compares the 'for love marriage' and the arranged marriage. It's interesting, most of my students at Chatty Cafe are of an age where their marriages were most likely arranged.

Today I read a review of a film at the Sundance Film Festival which mentions a rocky marriage (a new Japanese film/documentary).

That might be why I woke up singing the Brettan Cox song this morning. Stories of marriage and relationships are whirling around in my real life too.

In June, we will celebrate 13 years of marriage. We're still hanging in there! Don't worry, this isn't about us.


  1. I think we have all been down the "what if" track a few too many times! I tend to throw the divorce word around a bit too much when things are going wrong. I always tell my husband that he should never threaten punishments that he can't actually go through with when he is dealing with the kids, but I know I am guilty of the same by throwing away the d word! Although the grass is not always green here it is the majority of the time and that is what counts!

  2. What if? Yes!
    I don't ever use the d word with mr. Mee a Bee now, I learnt the hard way that he takes everything very literally. To be honest we don't fight anyway. I just stew in silence when I find him annoying. ;)
    Things are very good for us here in terms of lifestyle, we're very lucky in fact.
    I wish it were true for all of my friends.

  3. This work can help you understand and come to terms with the challenges you are facing in your relationship and help you to work towards your own solutions. Counselling is a positive first step in rebuilding your relationship.therapy


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